So finally I get back on my blog. I had a feeling this would happen when I started this thing. I always knew I was never going to blog everyday, but I also didn't think I would let a couple of months go by without blogging either. Well better late than never goes the saying.
So I have been here almost 3 months now, and I have to say it has been an interesting transition. I started my new job 2 months ago. I work in a store that is pretty much a cross between an OfficeMax/Kinkos/Michaels/and Hallmark stores. I am a Sales associate, which basically means I do anything that needs to get done from inventory to the register. I called this blog 'Starting Over' because that is exactly what I have been doing these last 2 months. I no longer work behind a desk staring at a computer all day. I am on my feet and constantly on the move. I no longer communicate with my clients through emails or provide customer service solely through the telephone. I am now one-on-one, face to face with all the customers that come in our store. I am no longer in an office all day long. I have been put in charge of deliveries and of making outside sales which means I drive the store van around the city (and neighboring cities) to deliver orders or to see if I can drum up some business. I used to be salary, now I punch in and out. I would be lying if I said all these changes have been easy. In fact some of these things have been a little hard to get through. Especially the delivery thing. How the hell do you make someone that is new to the city, in charge of deliveries? Not to mention how hard its going to be to drive around when it starts snowing!
The one thing I can never say is that I didn't know big changes were coming. In fact, I was looking forward to them. One of the reasons I left home was because I wanted a change in my life. Something so big and profound that it would rock my reality. Something that could not be forgotten or dismissed after my next drunk stupor. I have definitely accomplished that. I have slowly gotten used to the change of my status. Very slowly. And im not talking about missing my friends and family yet, that's totally different. Im talking about no longer being a "manager" any more. No longer being in charge of my own accounts, no longer being left alone to finish my projects as I see fit. I actually cant believe I miss these things a little. My life was in a rut and I wanted out. But I know of something that never changes. Politics. Here I am, pretty low on the totem pole and yet I can see the higher ups with all the same problems I used to face before. Incompetent leaders with no real idea on what it takes to get the job done, middle-management without the resources to do what is asked of them, and the worker bees there to do all the work no one else wants to do. And what does everyone have in common? Stress, unhappiness, always complaining and never paid enough. Hmm, sounds familiar.
And yet if there is a Ying then there must be a Yang. It hasn't been all bad over here. If you've heard this once before then you haven't heard it enough, this place is beautiful. I couldn't possibly write words to describe some of the great sights I have seen. Nothing more magnificent like the stars. Soooo many stars. The sky is just full of stars and it feels like you can see every single one. I cant even remember the last time I said the phrase, "Little Dipper." This city is in a valley and we are surrounded by huge mountains so close it feels like you could easily hike up them. I have also met some new friends through this job. And they have been some of the nicest people I have ever met. They enjoy many of the things I do and we hang out pretty often too (which is way easy to do when everyone is within a 3 mile radius). The people are very nice and most of them have this thing called, "manners" which was easily lost back home. Now I say most because your always going to have jackasses anywhere you go. Its getting colder now and soon we will be buried in snow according to everyone. I am looking forward to the snow but my friends say that delusion will ware off really fast. The moment you have to dig your car out of 7 feet of snow for the 9th day in a row, they say. And trust me, they never miss a chance to bug me about this. The "L.A. Kid" is in for some hurtin soon enough.
Hardest of all, I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my city. I took a while for the shock to ware off and the reality of what I did and where I am to really kick in. I was extremely sad for a while. I was remembering everyone's little quirky things and wishing I could see them do it one more time. I was missing the fun atmosphere I worked in and the good times I shared with everyone there. They were the best friends anyone could ask for. I only regret not spending even more time with them all, outside of work. But it was them that made me want to go to work anyway. I miss seeing my family in the flesh. I can always talk to them but being near them as taken on a whole new meaning. It is precious. Friends can never be replaced nor should they ever be forgotten. I wonder about them all the time. What they are doing? What's new? One of my friends was pregnant and I think she was due this month. One of my friends went through a horrible experience recently. One of my friends was being promoted. What is sad is that eventhough I miss them, it becomes difficult to keep in contact with everyone. That has always been a problem for me. I have a very bad habit of drifting away and staying silent. I hope everyone is okay.
Well I guess that's all I have to say about that. My life has turned upside down and new experiences are on the horizon. As the holidays approach, im sure there will be more sad moments to come but it will also be an exciting time. I will make sure of it. I have given up too much to let anything stop me from making a good life out here. As one of my close friends once said,"I am in control of my life now, not the other way around."
Happy Halloween!!
